She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
