Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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