So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
