I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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