get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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