you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
