Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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