It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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