Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
