i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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