We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
