I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think a kid would responsible me up
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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