margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize