I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Are we still banned from the library?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
