if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
