careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
