Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
This is the high leading the old right now
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
