shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
