i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Never underestimate the power of titties
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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