Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
