I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
