I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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