Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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