non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
