Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize