Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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