pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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