Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize