I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
