Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
