Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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