I'm sorry my penis didn't work
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize