I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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