since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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