3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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