Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
