Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
