Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
