i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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