I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
