I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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