end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
