? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
