Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
