I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
