You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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