dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
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Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
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Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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