He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
