there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
