So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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