The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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