scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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