Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
