I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
