i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
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It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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