I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
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Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
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I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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